27/6/08

During today's praying over, I had asked to be given the wisdom to distinguish my own feelings and faith.. To strengthen my faith and etc etc.. & also to remove tt 2nd voice in me which is rather disturbing..

When I was been prayed over ytd, I actually sensed something.. I felt warm.. I felt that I am sort of struggling within myself even though I was concentrating on God.. I felt weak but I was still standing on my feet.. a little flopping back & forth.. just a little.. until I remember what Godma told me.. Godma told me to let go of myself during praying over and just let the Holy Spirit take over.. means.. just relax and think of Jesus.. The moment I relax, I began felling backwards.. I could sense tt my catcher was unable to catch me but I still fell.. not worrying at all that I will get hurt or what.. coz I am sure He will take care of me.

My heart was pumping v hard and strong.. and its sort of unbearable.. I was unable to concentrate.. I started to think of so many things.. or is it tt many things started to flashed in my mind.. I felt quite terrible actually.. But somehow managed to overcome it with the power of the Holy Spirit.. I do not know what happened, I just know I was not feeling v gd.. I dont know what this implies but I know there must be a reason behind it..

I opened my eyes after some time and I know that my tear gland had been activated.. Somehow I had managed to hold on to it..

God, I thank you for the wisdom You had given me.. I pray that I will be obedient to Your Word and Your call.. also that I will live in faith daily and I will learn to fight the doubts I have in You, just like how Jesus was tempted in the desert. I ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.