Negativity No More

I had been quite negative over the past week due to the following reasons:

1) I was told by lecturer, TBS, that I will be failing this semester due to almost ZERO attendance. Yes.. I almost given up hope... I did not turn up for my ICA (written) & did not even bother to go for my SharePoint Design ICA.

Is that what He has taught me? Certainly, its a BIG BIG NO... He did not teach me to give up nor did He say He will not help me.. I MUST help myself if I want Him to help me.

2) The re-lay at my work has given me so much prob.. But indirectly, my specialist has taken the opportunity of my exam leave to get my 2 supervisors to take over my dept duties at work. They had certainly refused to but somehow my specialist had forced them to take over.

In a way, I was also "whacked" up down left right by what she perceived the prob is.. Yes.. The problem in my dept is because of me.. I am the problem. I do not know how to run the dept. I just cannot be bothered to do the things because of my attitude..

3) During Gospel 2wks ago, according to Matthew 9:27- 31, where Jesus healed a blind man, the blind man was healed & was able to see. Jesus warned him, "See that nobody knows about this."

Fr Joachim Chang's homily mentioned about Jesus asking people He had healed not to mention abt the healing.. Reason is not because He wants to be popular or what but rather, He wants people to have faith in Him & God the Father by word alone.. & not because of miracles He performed. It is the same for us. I come to Jesus because we live by the Word made Flesh & by Word alone.. & we do not come to Him due to the miracles He perform.

Yes.. for this, I was actually kind of guilty.. He had certainly healed me many many times & this in a way had somehow misguided me onto another path of S.A. TAN.. I had taken Him for granted.

I am certainly glad that the Holy Spirit had showed me the light & reminded me what true faith is about.

Sorry Lord Jesus, for I have sinned.

I had failed to follow what You had taught. I failed to trust You at times. I had been so negative tt I'd forgotten tt I am supposed to praise You for all the troubles I have. Sorry God.. I know You love me so much & all that is happening to me is all for my own good. I trust & believe that all these are part of Your loving plan for me. I will just do my best in my studies & work & leave the remaining to You, whether I succeed or not. 'coz You sure have an alternative plan for me.

I had prayed the Divine Mercy just now (as You had told Godma to teach me) & I prayed tt all these negativities will get away frm me & I shall only fill my body & soul with Your Word & optimism. & most importantly, strengthen the love & joy I have in me.

Thank you God.. for showing me the way.. together with Lord Jesus & the Holy Spirit, who lives & reigns with You forever & ever. Amen.