Many of you are aware that I was away for a period of 2mths for a Come & See program with the Canossian Srs during Lent.. This is the 1st phase of the discernment journey which I felt so privileged to be able to partake in.. I would like to thank all of you for your unceasing prayers during this period of time.. because I've gotten to see so many things not just in the lives of the Srs but also at how God has worked within the communities and in different lives.
This phase also comprises of learning the various tools in learning & discovering ourselves (the inner core self).. We also get to participate in their activities/ outings/ prayers etc.
What I can say is that the yearning to draw closer to God has become so much stronger over the days that I started to feel so confused. I started to push away my thoughts/ feelings, not wanting to acknowledge them.. I was trying to run away. It was until it gets so overwhelming that I decided to share them with my SD.
Many confusions + disturbances came alongside as I was discerning whether or not to continue with the 2nd phase.. Various offers seem to appear simultaneously over the short period of few wks.. and those offers seem to be something which I once wanted very much such as a certain position in a particular coy.. going for my full time degree course etc.. God is certainly kind to offer me free choices.. but I guess all these are too gd for me.. such tt I really dont desire them anymore.. All I wanted was a simple life to spend w/ God.. Its not as though those choices will not allow me to spend time w/ God.. but somehow.. its just different.. Its just so beautiful to be able to be "w/ God" 24/7..
After much prayers + sharings, decision has been made and I will be moving on to the 2nd phase- postulancy. Thank you everyone for all your prayers & concern. & also for sharing w/ me this great joy!
Time really flies.. & as I look back on the 1st entry which I'd posted on this blog.. God really works miraculously..
Date of entry will be in September.. On one hand, I am filled with excitements.. & on the other hand, I am filled with so much fear because it is not just abt changing jobs now.. hahaha!! Its abt my life.. my lifestyle.. where my life will be encircled/ surrounded w/.. Its my future.. During one prayer walk in early June, God showed,
"May He enlighten the eyes of your mind so that you can see what hope His call holds for you," - Ephesians 1:17-18Well.. true enough.. later part of the day, I was amazed at how He works.. He spoke again when I arrived at St Anthony's Church.. A big signage which had been there for more than 10yrs.. suddenly waved a big HELLO to me.. It states,
"God knows Your past & He offers you a future."
Oh man.. I was pondering why would He offer me a future instead of preparing me for my future? Is He going to be my "new boss"- so- to- say? I felt as though He is offering me a job.. (in a way its quite true because I am somewhat in the midst of changing my job..
Truly truly, I must say.. there're really alot alot alot more to share.. & frankly, I really do not know how I am going to share. But I am certain all these bits & pieces will continue to allow us to forge on in our spiritual life as we seek His kingdom 1st.
That is all frm me at the moment.
I pray that may the ever living God continues to touch you just as how He has touches me over the years.. and may you experience His presence & love more & more as we continue on our search for Him each day.. not so much in the context of religious vocation.. but as mere children of His.. May all of us be as innocent as these little children to place our trust in Him.. in Jesus' name, we pray.
**Always Keep Him in your heart. In everything, give thanks.. for it is God's will for you in Christ Jesus..**
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