Can't Imagine

A v moody day today.. v upset.. v sad..

1st, prob at home.. $$$.. no peace yet..
2nd, prob at work.. cant concentrate at work.. how? performance going down..
3rd, prob w/ myself.. my own faith.. my own belief.. my own understanding.. my own dreams which i had in the middle of the nights..

Woke up w/ quite a shock this morning after some weird dreams.. not the 1st time I'd dream of those thou.. but feel weird.. I was rather disturbed at work this morning.. mood still v much affected by what mum "commented" on sat..

After buying lunch at work, I'd left my reminding money in my coat (abt $7).. whilst I had $13.30 left in my wallet.. (which is the remaining tt I am left w/ after i withdraw my last $50frm bank last sat.) When I arrived at Segar Stn, I'd realised I am left w/ only $4.90 in my ezlink, so I thought I wanted to top up. Usually I would have topped up w/ my nets card.. but since i am left w/ only pathetic $2 in my bank, I'd used cash instead..

I was at the top up machine where I saw a pri 1 boy frm the pri sch next to my house, trying to top up his ez link w/ $2. For student's ez link, the min top up value is $5.. He kept trying, seems that he does not know he needs to top up w/ $5. He looked loss.. I had wanted to offer help at 1st but for a moment I thought his parent could be ard.. and on second thought I did not know how to approach him.. or shld I say.. I do not know how I shld help him coz after I dig out $10 to top up my own card, I am left w/ only coins in my wallet and on one pocket, I hav a $2 note. I dont even know if I hav enough to help him make up the value to $5.

After I top up my card, I looked ard and the boy was no where in sight.. I was a little sad coz I was unable to help the boy.. However, just as I stepped out of the stn, I saw the boy, trying to make a phone call. but he has no coin. He looked sad. I supposed I hav at least $3 w/ me (after seeing a $2 note and several coins).. so I just initiated a short conversation and told him to pass me the $2 which he has (coz I din have enough.. If I hav, I could hav top up w/ my own).. and I fork out $3.. changed it into a $5 note so tt he can top up.

After this incident, as I was walking home, I felt a stone so heavy in my heart.. I wanted to cry out so much coz I do not know how I am to "survive".. tt was consider my last cash in my wallet.. Oh dear.. I'd never been so down in my life b4 (I mean this few mths).. But after some thought, I remembered the parable where the woman who has so little gives tt little.. is much more than the woman who has so much and yet gives tt "bit".. I know Daddy will be proud of me for what I had done and will take care of me.. He has a plan earlier.. tt is why I have only $3,30 in my wallet.. the $3 is for me to help the boy to top up his ez link.

Yes Lord.. You work in ways we cannot see..

You know when I am down and hurt.. and You always give me reasons to smile..
You know when I am worried and sad.. and You always give me comforting words..
You know when I am feeling helpless and hopeless.. and You always give me Your hands..

Topple and trip and fall.. That is what we always encounter on our paths.. But each time we fall, we know why.. we understand how.. and.. and we learn not to fall anymore..

**Always Keep Him in your heart. In everything, give thanks.. for it is God's will for you in Christ Jesus..**