FEAR

Just as I was thinking of my "eagerness" to possibly change job when I grad.. I then realised.. the word "FEAR" seems to have appeared..

My fear
- fear of taking up responsibilities at work.. as I am AFRAID tt I am unable to live up to their expectations.. Perhaps another word to use is "inferior".. I'd always said I dont know what my bosses like abt me (although I know the reasons sub-consciously..).. perhaps I know myself too well.. I happened to be able to perform up to my bosses' expectation.. but tt doesnt mean I can ALWAYS do what they expect..

The 3 offers which I'd gotten .. 1 is quite recent.. are all offers tt require heavy responsibilities.. Having put down heavy responsibilities since 1.5yrs ago.. I dont know if I still can bear them on my shoulders.. Need to weigh out the pros & cons thou.. No doubt I am sure I shld be able to tide through whichever choice I made, but ultimately.. I know it wont be easy..

I recalled how uncle David (my 1st boss) helped me to build up my confidemce when he refuse to take me in unless I agreed to enter the coy as either a sup or a DM.. Frankly, I find tt I am not so capable lar.. so I only agreed to enter as Sup, but not DM.. subsequently, I was promoted to exec after 11mths w/ the coy.. & I was assured tt they will train me (because nobody comes in knowing everything).. As time goes by when I start to gain my confidence, I gradually started to accept the fact tt I am really capable.. However, perhaps my expectation was too high.. I started to see that I am really "lousy" such tt I req for demotion so as to understudy w/ mama C..

As days go by, I realised tt a sup like me, can actually do so much more things as compared to other DMs.. such tt I am also involved in the training of new executives in the coy.. imagine a supervisor helping to train new managers.. which made me really appreciate tt I am really capable.. & to accept the fact tt I am really capable.. Why would those ppl who cant do their duties, accept their $$$ and positions so readily, not afraid tt they might be put to shame..? & yet for me, I am so ashame & afraid tt I cannot do the job well..

Am I readily trying to avoid these responsbilities? Have I alrdy accepted tt I am indeed capable?

What am I really afraid of since I am capable? Its really something I ought to ponder upon.. before I make any decision.. though I still have at least 8mths to go.. before giving my bosses an answer..

**Always Keep Him in your heart. In everything, give thanks.. for it is God's will for you in Christ Jesus..**